I started this Kerbcrawl a few weeks back and then all of sudden irrelevantly expensive Astons (£320,000) are in the news, so a stupid made up premise to go and buy one suddenly made some sense. Let’s do the actual Kerbcrawl first, then you can read why I sort of decided to look into this.
Cheap Aston Martin motor cars, no such thing is there? Any idiot can buy a flakey one and then wait quietly for bankruptcy. Let’s not be too daunted by the task and just see if there is anything reasonable for what is a little bit more than brand new Dacia Duster money.
I have seen and driven plenty of older Aston nails, even some of those ‘90s and 2000s DBs. Way back in the very old days a couple of classified adverts from my coincidentally titled Kerbcrawler book (available from me and Amazon) seem suddenly relevant, so I’ve resurrected them for the purposes of research.
This 1971 DB6 I remember with some clarity because it was such a boneshaker of an experience. Full Persuaders spec of course, but Lord Brett Sinclair hadn’t bothered on the upkeep and must have hit on hard times when I went for a test drive. Certainly tempting, but for all the wrong reasons. The modern equivalent of this right now are the examples which have fetched up at the nation’s breakers yards.
I’ll retrospectively give that a one to five Slogs which I know is unprecedented, but at this point I don’t really care. It is a one Slog because it would have caused financial ruin and obviously a five Slog as it is the coolest of Dbees and the hero that saved it deserves that accolade.
I’m on Motors.co.uk this week and this Aston caught my eye because it is priced at £9999. That’s for one of those lovely early DB7s which has rather a lot of Jaguar going on underneath. The issue here is that it is a category S write with a rather large swipe on the bonnet. It is with North East Sports Salvage who also have a comprehensive You Tube Channel. I would never recommend anyone, but a professional, go anywhere near a vehicle that’s been written off. Maybe we will cover that in a future Kerbcrawl, right now though this bent DB9 does have a fair amount to recommend it. Firstly it is one of those Japanese imports, so the theory is that it has been exceptionally well cared for. According to the description it does seem to be in excellent order apart from the crinkled bonnet and front end. From previous buying guides I do seem to recall that body parts were pricey and that’s a decade plus ago. Go and have a chat with North East Sports Salvage if you have the hots for this.
This is probably way better than a two Slog, but for the reasons given, unless you have the budget and a specialist good enough to make it better, don’t get involved. Unless that is your eyes are propped open with cartoon matchsticks like you are the old Bulldog in Tom and Jerry.
Indeed, here is another time travel Aston from back when I was employed by the mainstream motoring media. It really is a warning from history. This V8 was parked up at a London mews Alfa Romeo specialist who I once sold part exchanges to. It was incredible to behold at £17,950, made a lovely sound and obviously I should have bought it. Good value at the time in the post Classic meltdown era. What should get your attention is that this is the earlyish to be mid ‘90s and there was a bill for suspension work which totalled a stiff £6000. That’s 30 years ago which means that a little light fettling of the undercarriage §is going to cost you a mighty fortune in this century. Always bear that in mind when you go Aston shopping.
As we are going all retro Slog, this is a three if you bought it back then because all the hard work has been done for you. After that it either turns into a one because you stuck it in an undehumidified lock up for a decade or two, or a five as you worked hard (overtime) to make sure it covered a six figure mileage as your daily smoker...
Back to some sort of reality and that reality is that you really should add at least another £10K to that stingy £9999 budget that bought a write-off, in order own an Aston that won’t drive you to tears. For that to happen we have to travel to Revitupuk, a name I rather like. They are rightly pushing this as the cheapest DB9 in the country and are probably correct. It has done 71,000 miles with a history from an Aston specialist. This makes it a 2006 example from a well established dealer which also includes a 6 month warranty, get in touch with them to find out what that covers. Otherwise, slate blue outside and cream in. Really hard to see a downside with this at £19,995
I am feeling lucky with this DB9 so a solid three Slogs. Sounds mean under the circumstances, but I am covering myself against an unforeseen upset. Otherwise this could turn out to be deserving of more Slogs and run with only ‘routine’ servicing.
A DB9 is nice, but what could be even nicer might be some extra fresh air. With that in mind we are now at the curiously named Esmeraldas of Brentford Limited. One previous owner got my full attention and the breakdown of the service history. I more than suspect the vehicle description is the product of an AI Software Robot who believes he might be a poet and does not exactly know it. Anyway, here is a one owner Volante from 2006 and the mileage is 81K. It’s advertised at a hardly anything at all...£22,495.
Lets go mad and give it four Slogs I believe that prices are low and may even go lower for what seem to be quite sound Astons. Always great if you can get the registration and make your own enquiries with an MOT and history check.
The conclusion is that if you have the spare cash and the dehumidified space, right now is the time to buy well looked after, tidy examples while stocks last. Eventually the bottom of the barrel examples will fall into the most unsympathetic hands possible, then the dystopian future is stripped, luridly painted Banger racing in the yet to invented 007 class. Yes really. So if you always promised an Aston and can put a couple of grand a year aside for basic running costs, then put it on a limited mile insurance policy and the chances are it could become part of your motoring life. What a wonderful way to enjoy yourself. Not least because life is too short.
So how did I get here? Assuming of course that you actually care… Sports car for Clooney.
Well, Aston has been hugely in the news recently. Formula One does not bother me much, I preferred Tyrells in Sheds and Heskeths in country estate outhouses from the old days. Apparently Aston now employ the god-like Adrian Newey, which is apparently a very good thing, but will take a few years to produce results, or maybe not. Meanwhile over at the road car division there is some, well a, brand new product.
Which now brings me to...’Let’s buy a car for George Clooney’. Not a sentence I ever expected to write, but it does seem that he may be in the market for something with a big engine.
I say this because there is some photographic evidence that gorgeous old George is starting to soften his stance on climate change and endorse multi-cylinder petrol power. This is because just the other week there was a so called, ‘Grand reveal event’ on Venetian Lagoon to celebrate the new ‘V12 flagship Aston Martin’. Despite the absurdly massive grille, it isn’t that bad looking from the bonnet backwards and at least the engine is still a great big sod off twelve cylinder rather than a big, dumb, slab of battery connected to a washing machine motor.
Celebrities turned up because the ‘Grand Reveal’ happened during the Venice International Film Festival, but they were also joined by some ‘proper’ Aston Martin Formula One® Team drivers Lance Stroll and Fernando Alonso.
Essentially there was a lot of people we’ve never heard of including musical performances from Grammy-nominated musician Masego, multi-award-winning Italian jazz performer Walter Ricci and international DJ James Righton. No idea I’m afraid.
However, some of the stars of cinema in attendance included “five Academy Award winning actors. George Clooney, alongside wife Amal, joined Benedict Cumberbatch, Michael Douglas, Kevin Costner and Adrien Brody. In the year that Aston Martin celebrates the 60th anniversary of its iconic association with the James Bond films, other talent present included Bond actor Daniel Craig, alongside fellow British stars, Joe Alwyn and Micheal Ward”, it says here.
Some of those names we know and Craig does at least have some form when it comes to Aston Martins. Cumberbatch though, he’s thrown his lot in with Extinction Rebellion hasn’t he? That was in 2019 when the environmental group shared images of Cumberbatch at a protest on Facebook. “British actor Benedict Cumberbatch joins Extinction Rebellion rebels preparing to sit outside all night to help keep Trafalgar Square. Power to the people!” (made no sense to me either) Very cleverly old Cumberbatch stayed away from posing anywhere near a parked Vanquish, just an old Hollywood fellow. Interesting that he was there, maybe he’s changed his mind on sustainability? We should ask him.
Clooney though, has form, being something of a biker in the old days, but is well known for being vocal about climate change. He is however reluctant to endorse environmental causes because he flies private jets, as he told Time Magazine a few years ago: “You don’t want to be a spokesperson unless you are absolutely committed to a cause because you can hurt it. I’ve been asked to help represent environmental groups. I’m a big proponent of cleaning up the environment. I have two electric cars. But I also have a big weak spot because I’ve flown on private jets.”
Clooney was committed enough to the environmental cause to drive a Tango 600 back in 2005 which is as bad as it sounds. (Duck Duck Go it, except that something small, light and daft looking is actually the very best sort of battery car). Obviously he upgraded to much cooler Teslas when they arrived, but in the meantime made do with something that was effectively a soft drinks can on wheels. It was quick, getting to 60mph in just a few seconds (4), but apparently it could easily fall over. He obviously appreciates a turn of speed and by leaning up against the Vanquish might well be Clooney considering a return to using old fashioned combustion engines in his daily driver. In between those scheduled Easy Jet flights.
That’s why we reckon old Clooney might seriously consider an old V12 Aston which might more closely align with his environmental principles, so he can scroll back to the Kerbcrawl for one of those.
Just in case you wondered, Aston are rather proud of the Vanquish and so you don’t have to look it all up on the interweb, “Revived for the first time since 2018, this will be the third Aston Martin generation to be christened with the famous Vanquish nameplate. The original V12 edition launched in 2001 has played a prominent on-screen role in cinema, driven by James Bond in the 2002 film Die Another Day and making appearances in other films of the 2000s such as Lara Croft: Tomb Raider and The Italian Job. Now it steals the spotlight once again.”
Marvellous, except that Die Another Day was one of the very worst and utterly unbelievable of the Bonds. On reflection the original couple of Angela Jolly Tomb Raiders, one of which contained a future Bond, weren’t too bad in a larky comic book way and yes there were cars in a dream car garage that we would all approve of. However, best not to ever mention the pointless remake that was The Italian Job.
Bangernomics should contain bad film reviews discuss…We certainly have scheduled some TV and film car buying related spin offs.
Next time we might return to first cars as there are eight to cover, although the Bangernomics organisation will have driven a posh electricity car by then and at the moment that part of the used car market is in deep turmoil, so we could be covering that. As usual, no idea what’s actually go on.
See you next time.
Please note that all images are copyright of the selling garage, no recommendation is made for any vehicle featured and ideally it is best to go and check for yourself.
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